Emilia Pérez star Karla Sofía Gascón—who made history as the first openly trans woman to be nominated for an Oscar for Best Actress—said she “contemplated the unthinkable” after a rocky awards season in which previous controversial posts she had made on social media came to light.

Saldaña‘s Oscar win is a testament to the strength of her performance, one that Academy voters recognized despite “Emilia Pérez” being the subject of controversy, both because of offensive tweets from Saldaña’s co-star and the depiction of Mexico in the film.